Navigating a Relationship When Your Partner and Your Family Don't Get Along

The holidays are upon us; for some, it will be a great time with extended family. For others, disharmony amongst family members makes the holidays less enjoyable. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and relationships are never perfect. When you find yourself in a situation where there is tension between your partner and extended family, it can be a stressful and emotionally draining experience. It can leave you feeling caught in the middle. If this is the situation you find yourself in, you're not alone. Many families have experienced this problem, and some have found ways to make it work. Let's explore strategies when your partner and some in your extended family don't mesh. 

Label Your Feelings

First, it's crucial to acknowledge and validate your feelings. Understandably, this can be an emotional and complicated situation; you love your partner and your family. It's okay to feel caught in the middle and confused.

You will want to create an environment where you feel comfortable expressing yourself. Your partner and your family need to understand how you feel. Let them know the impact their behavior is having on you. 

Self-Care is a Must

Secondly, self-care is a must. Taking care of yourself mentally and physically during this time is essential. Take time for yourself when you need it, and make sure you're prioritizing your well-being in all aspects.

Find healthy outlets to cope with the stress, whether exercising, meditating, or spending time with friends. It's okay to take a step back and prioritize yourself during this time. Once you've taken care of yourself, you can be fully present for others. 

Understand Your Partner's Feelings

Next, try and understand your partner's feelings and point of view. They may have valid reasons for their feelings and behavior, such as feeling overwhelmed, not feeling connected to the extended family, or even having unrealistic expectations. It doesn't mean that you agree with them, but it's paramount to understand how they feel.

Sit down with your partner and have an open and honest conversation about their feelings towards your family members and understand any underlying issues that may have contributed to the tension in the relationship.

Be Open to Compromise and Communication

When it comes to bringing family members together, it's all about compromise. It's essential to approach the situation as a team and work towards a resolution that benefits everyone involved. Usually, there will need to be conversations about adjusting roles and expectations. 

Be open to communication and discuss any issues that may arise. Keep in mind that it will take time to build trust and establish positive relationships. Encourage your extended family to communicate with your partner, and vice versa, to better understand each other's needs and desires.

Being in a relationship when there is discord between your partner and anyone else you love, like your children, your parents, or your siblings, can feel like an impossible situation to navigate. However, with these strategies in mind and with time, communication, and a willingness to compromise, you and your partner can work towards a resolution that benefits everyone involved, creating a loving and healthy family that works. 

It is essential to prioritize the love that you share with your partner while also valuing the love and relationship you have with your family. By establishing this balance, you can create a home life that is happy, loving, and inclusive of everyone involved.

If you're still having difficulty communicating with your partner or family, consider seeking counseling to explore the root causes of the issue. A licensed mental health counselor in DFW trained in family and relationship counseling can help you identify and overcome your challenges.