In the beginning, you had fun together. You went on dates, shared your dreams, thoughts, and feelings. You developed trust and companionship. But as time went on and life happened, you've grown apart. Career, children, in-laws, and daily hassles have taken over. Intimacy has dissolved, and you rarely touch each other anymore. Neither of you are happy, and something needs to change. How did we get here?
As time has gone on, you may be realizing in regards to relationship expectations, you've left most things largely unspoken. And even now, to prevent an argument, you may both avoid discussing things that are important. Conversations are always focused on kids, in-laws ... money. When a relationship fails to provide meaning and connection, one or both partners can become depressed. They can feel defeated and hopeless. This brings a new problem into the relationship as depression can bring poor health, a negative perception, and conflict between the couple.
Reconnection and healing is possible Often issues that seem insurmountable can be overcome if talked about. When you come to therapy, we customize our approach in order to address the biggest obstacle facing your relationship. If you are struggling with finances, for example, we work on this issue first before moving on to other issues.
All couples argue and disagree at times. How disagreements are resolved is more important than not having a disagreement.
In couples therapy, we learn how to resolve conflicts in a way that does not damage the relationship. Conflict resolution must take each person's needs into account. Unfortunately, many people in partnership do not express their needs in a way the other person can understand. When conflict does happen, negative and damaging strategies, including those we learned from our parents, can be employed that resolve nothing and can result in more distance and disconnection. Therapy will help each of you understand how to manage disagreement in healthy and productive ways. You will learn new skills for communication and discover new ways to reestablish your emotional connection, find intimacy and restore trust.
A healthy, happy relationship is an important part of a fulfilling life. If you are struggling, reach out for help.