Why Premarital Couples Fight

You set a date, you began planning your wedding. Now, all of a sudden a public health crisis has restricted all social

gatherings and your wedding has been put on hold. You've had to postpone the date for a few weeks or months.


In addition to dealing with the emotional impact of a wedding postponement, couples are also faced with social distancing and lockdowns that are forcing them and their families into quarantine and isolation.


Whether you are quarantined together or apart, the situation can cause an increase in disagreements and fighting between premarital couples. Several situations can bring up or amplify issues that may also be placing a strain on your relationship such as:


  • Blended families — if one or both of you have a child or children from a previous marriage, this brings challenges in dealing with the child or children as well as the other parent.

  • Many couples get along well because one of them suppresses their opinion. This is very common in couples. One person is more self-sacrificing of their own needs in order to keep peace and harmony in the relationship. Under stressful situations, the person who has been suppressing their opinion may begin to use their voice and express themselves. This can lead to more arguing.

  • If you have been using humor to avoid having serious conversations, you are setting yourself up for eventual disagreements. Humor only goes so far and eventually, you need to learn how to have serious discissions where each of you can feel comfortable expressing your needs, wants, and fears.

  • Boundaries — developing and maintaining boundaries in these times can be challenging whether you are living together or apart. Online boundaries can be especially difficult for some to maintain.When you are bored and alone, you may spend more time on social media and may begin communicating with people you wouldn't otherwise communicate with. 


Counseling online for premarital couples

All premarital couples will experience challenges in the best of times. Premarital counseling helps couples address issues in healthy and productive ways. Communication is essential for a long, stable, and happy relationship. In couples counseling, each of you will learn how to express your own needs and expectations clearly as well as hear and understand your partner's needs.

Couples counseling for a unique situation During quarantine, unexpected disagreements and feelings may come up as a result of the unusual situation. As a society, we are facing a crisis that is unlike anything we've had to face before.

Quarantine and isolation may bring out qualities in yourself and your partner that neither of you was aware of. For example, being stuck in the same house without the ability to leave for an extended period of time can impact your mental health. Anxiety, loneliness, and depression can set in. Different coping styles can also become apparent. For example, one partner may want to spend the majority of the time in front of the TV while the other needs to engage in creative endeavors and connection to others. 

This unusual situation may cause doubts in your compatibility. This unique situation does not have to destroy your relationship, rather it can make it stronger, more balanced and healthier. In couples counseling, we work together to enhance communication and understanding. Together we can get through this uncertain time sometimes we just need a little help from a supportive and insightful therapist. If any of this article resonates with you or if you are struggling in your relationship, reach out and book an online therapy session today. Support for both of you is available.

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